Story out of the funniest boat book

I'm telling you this is the funniest Boat book or any kind of book I have ever read. I read it outloud sometimes as we're sitting around and I have laughed so hard my gut hurt. It was written in 1957 by a man named Lawrence Lariar and I am not sure if he ever wrote anything else. I am guessing he was a married man and at some point in his marriage he decided to buy an old clunker of a boat. I figure that because that is what he writes about, obviously using a character name. It is absolutely hilarious the way he writes sarcastically and comically.The book is made up of several short stories about the things a married couple went through when he decided to become a boater. I wanted to share one of my favorite stories he wrote, with you. It is too long to write in one post so I will break it up over a few days. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I think every boater should own this book. The only problem is is that it was written in 1957 and is a collectors book. I happened across it at a second hand book store. But I did look it up on Amazon and they do have it there. If you like the story I share with you, you really should buy it. I promise you will love it. I think its only 2.99 on Amazon. I have a link to Amazon below:

Boat and be damned
The Chapters:
1 Our Midwestern Mariners
2 Mr. Binnacle Buys His Dream Boat
3 The Ten Commandments for Boating Guests
4 Dinig Afloat with the Binnacles
5 Boat Supply Department
6 Boating Types
7 Nautical Dictionary
8 Mr. & Mrs. Binnacle Join the Yacht Club
9 A Day at Sea with the Binnacles

Heres the Story:

Mr. Binnacle Buys His Dream Boat

The Ad Reads: CRUISER Sleeps 4,roomy cabins,twin screws,fighting chairs,outriggers,enclosed head,pulpit,fish box,flying bridge,electric bilge,complete galley,freshwater,ship to shore telephone,clean,used only two hours by old lady (with arthritis),must sell at BARGAIN price. Asking $4632.99

When Chester Binnacle read this advertisement, the nautical blood rushed to his head immediately. Chester was overcome with the giddy feeling of a prospector upon discovering the first golden flecks in his pan. He lowered the newspaper and gazed at his wife across the table. She seemed fairly content this morning, nibbling her favorite marmalade and toast.
"Emma," he said with controlled enthusiasm, "You'll never guess what I've discovered in this morning's paper."
"A boat" Emma said to her toast. "I can tell it by that crazy look in your eye."
"Not just another boat," said Chester. "Read this ad and see for yourself."
Chester watched his wife as she read, studying her face for some small sign of approval. If she would finish the ad without sniffing or pulling at her left ear, it could mean that she was fairly happy.
Mrs. Binnacle sniffed and pulled at her left ear.
"Four thousand six hundred and thirty two dollars and ninety nine cents," she said.
"A bargain isn't it dear?"
"We could repaint and decorate the upstairs for half of that."
"But we can't go fishing upstairs," Chester said cleverly. "A boat will give us relaxation and amusement, gay times in the outdoors, the smell of the salt spray, the call of the open sea, hours of happiness and fresh air, sunlit weekends."

Link to Amazon/Boat and be Damned

Thats all until tomorrow.... see you then!
Take care all!